Choose Wisely............Your Friends

We all want them, most of us enjoy them, and some of us need them, but, good friends are hard to come by. How many of us have had bad friend experiences? How many of us have had friends we were really close to but now they seem so distant? ( I dont mean just those from whom we live far away, I mean those we can't relate to anymore!) The question we should ask ourselves should be, "are we the kind of friend we would want to hang out with?" In a world with so many obstacles to overcome, true friends are worth their weight in gold. Here is a set of guidelines that I would set for friends.

1. Your friends ought to share your core beliefs. I do not think that your friends have to agree with you on every point. Sometimes you need them to disagree with you because you could be wrong. You want someone who has their own world views, not just "yes men," but if you select indiviuals who are far off from your core beliefs, (unevenly yoked) you are going to have a miserable time. Some good advice is to choose those with a moral plane that is comparable to yours.

2. Choose friends who are honest! If you know that your friends are dishonest with others, unfaithful, like to gossip, or tear others down, then it will only be a matter of time before they will turn on you. ( And if we are all honest with ourselves, we could all improve in this area!)

3. Choose friends who are not looking for perfection. Since none of us can meet up to these expectations, these friends will be impossible to please. Enough said!

4. When children are involved select those who you believe have good parenting skills. Before children we tend to choose friends based on what activities we like to do, but once we have children we seem to make our choices based on their parenting abilities. Why do we do this? Well, when we start having children they become our world (or at lest they should). We want them to have good friends, learn good behaviors, and we think that the way we are raising them is the best! We don't want someone to come in and undermine that effort.

5. Please, make friends with those who reciprocate your friendship. (If they don't seem to be reciprocating your friendship, it might be a sign that they don't want to be your friend...and that is ok! There are friends out there for those of us who are currently the "friendless outcasts").
I know there are people in the world who are just shy and could use friends who take the initiative to call, or plan activities, but If your friend doesn't even seem to be calling you back, then maybe they are trying to tell you something. (I dont even know if there is a word to "dear John" your friends? Maybe we could call it "dear Pat." My apologies to all readers of this blog named Pat....I guess I just lost some future friends now.)

Most of all, life is too short, so, spend time with those who are true friends indeed.