Choose Wisely............Your Friends

We all want them, most of us enjoy them, and some of us need them, but, good friends are hard to come by. How many of us have had bad friend experiences? How many of us have had friends we were really close to but now they seem so distant? ( I dont mean just those from whom we live far away, I mean those we can't relate to anymore!) The question we should ask ourselves should be, "are we the kind of friend we would want to hang out with?" In a world with so many obstacles to overcome, true friends are worth their weight in gold. Here is a set of guidelines that I would set for friends.

1. Your friends ought to share your core beliefs. I do not think that your friends have to agree with you on every point. Sometimes you need them to disagree with you because you could be wrong. You want someone who has their own world views, not just "yes men," but if you select indiviuals who are far off from your core beliefs, (unevenly yoked) you are going to have a miserable time. Some good advice is to choose those with a moral plane that is comparable to yours.

2. Choose friends who are honest! If you know that your friends are dishonest with others, unfaithful, like to gossip, or tear others down, then it will only be a matter of time before they will turn on you. ( And if we are all honest with ourselves, we could all improve in this area!)

3. Choose friends who are not looking for perfection. Since none of us can meet up to these expectations, these friends will be impossible to please. Enough said!

4. When children are involved select those who you believe have good parenting skills. Before children we tend to choose friends based on what activities we like to do, but once we have children we seem to make our choices based on their parenting abilities. Why do we do this? Well, when we start having children they become our world (or at lest they should). We want them to have good friends, learn good behaviors, and we think that the way we are raising them is the best! We don't want someone to come in and undermine that effort.

5. Please, make friends with those who reciprocate your friendship. (If they don't seem to be reciprocating your friendship, it might be a sign that they don't want to be your friend...and that is ok! There are friends out there for those of us who are currently the "friendless outcasts").
I know there are people in the world who are just shy and could use friends who take the initiative to call, or plan activities, but If your friend doesn't even seem to be calling you back, then maybe they are trying to tell you something. (I dont even know if there is a word to "dear John" your friends? Maybe we could call it "dear Pat." My apologies to all readers of this blog named Pat....I guess I just lost some future friends now.)

Most of all, life is too short, so, spend time with those who are true friends indeed.

Man Up... Protect your family.

I have decided not to sugar-coat this post in any way. There are a set of core beliefs in which God has given certain rights that cannot be taken away. These beliefs are shared by many in this country. For me, I believe in God, Family, and Country, in that order. The defense of these blessings are enjoyed by few in this world. Why? Because the history of the world is tyranny! It is understood that men formed governments for the express purpose of protecting themselves in greater numbers from outlaws, but inevitably one man or a small group of men have found that they can take charge of the whole, and force their will and beliefs of the governed. Tyranny, whether by a ruler or by an assailant, (ie robber, burglar, or murderer) is a stain against good social order. The best way to protect one's self and their family is by the bearing of arms. The founders of this country realized that no one was going to care as much about your safety as you would. It is true that we have a form of government that allows for a police force to intercede once a law has been broken, but until someone commits a crime (robbery, assault, rape, or murder) they have no course of action they can take. You may say, "what if someone threatens me or my family? I could call the cops before they could do anything." I would answer, threatening a person is breaking the law, therefore the police could move into action. Now I would ask, what if a man who was twice your size, or who had a knife, approached you and your wife at your car? What if those individuals broke into your home while your family slept? ( tell me your wife has never woken you up and said she heard something in the other room....yeah go on admit it.) Even if you could call the police they could be several minutes away. ( did you know that in some cities you can get a busy signal when you call 911?- scary!) What if the intent of the intruder is to do you harm, instead of burglary? Nothing takes the place of having the ability of protecting yourself and your family. I have had to wake up two or three times to check the noise that my wife heard. I have done that walk through the house armed and unarmed, and there is a reassurance that comes when you are armed, knowing you do not have to be a victim. Manning up and bearing arms doesn't mean only that you should know how to use your weapons. (Even if guns are not your preferred method of defense, you ought to go about protecting your family in some way that seems best for them.) To protect your family you should teach your wife and your children (when they are old enough) how to respect and use different arms. Teach them the importance of self defense and the respect for that power. Try in all cases to make your wife feel as comfortable with guns or other items of defense as possible. (wives, encourage your husbands to prepare themselves to defend you and your family.) Take family outings to go shooting and get some target practice in, or take a self defense course together. You strive long and hard for the happiness of your family, you work hard for your property, you want only to live in comfort and peace. Just as a car crash can come out of the middle of nowhere and change your life, so can an aggressor bring you face to face with the decision to be a victim or a victor.....Which will you choose?

Best Way to Love Your Children....is to Love their Mother.

"The best way to show Love to your children is by loving their mother..... Come on, you have got to be kidding!" But why not? First of all, do not misunderstand this blog, I do not believe that only loving your children's mother will convey the amount of love they need. If a father never holds his children when they are hurt or sad, if he neglects to kiss them good night or tell them he loves them, or if he becomes to busy to read with them or play with his children- then he will be greatly disappointed with the results that come from only loving their mother. The truth is that if a Man has a foundation of love already established then this key step is going to catapult him in the eyes of his offspring. You may ask: why? What kind of magic is found in the love of a secondary person of interest? Think about it, there is an undeniable fact that children have a special bound that is formed with their mothers. Can you really raise your vocie and yell at her without it impacting them? If you tell your wife how much you love her and yet you continue to abuse her, whether it be with words or some means of force, your children will see that your love is conditional. They will grow to understand that in order to be loved by you they must always please YOU! We know that will never be a reality, all of humanity is imperfect, we cannot expect our children ( or for that matter our wives) to always do those things that will please us. ( And if this is our expection then our wives and children will expect the same of us. Now if we love their mother and look past her imperfections (even if that means not criticising in public or otherwise for a meal that didn't turn out.) and we let our disagreements take place out of sight and sound of our little ones, they will see an example of love that they will feel is attainable for them. In this life of child-rearing there may be times (very frequent times ) of correction that must be given. If we neglect to give quick correction when it is due, then we are impeding the proper growth and maturity of our seeds. For as adults there is an authority that we have to obey, and if we do not learn that lesson when we are young it can mean greater consequences for us in society. If we are prone by necessity to correct the actions of our children, would it not give them sense of hope to see the relationship between a husband and wife, which did not include critical correction or punishment. (There are many that need to "man-up" and guard their tongues better than they do when it comes to expressing themselves to their wives.) Again, who spends more time in the home with the children, the role of a mother is clear in this aspect. So if a man were to keep his wife happy, (through positive reinforcement) like with flowers, "I love you" notes, or whatever she truly likes, this will translate into a happy home. The mother will then be able to give more time and attention to her children and husband. This should translate into sons who learn how to treat a woman, and daughters who will seek the respect they deserve. Though this love may not manifest itself for sometime, (it may take them until they are married with kids of their own) they will thank you for loving them by loving their mother!